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Decoding Boys

New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
“If you’re raising a boy, you need this brilliant book. It is clear, wise, and eye-opening.” —Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Untangled
When boys enter puberty, they tend to get quiet—or at least quieter than before—and parents often misread their signals. Here’s how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys.

What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What’s with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and . . . that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing “need” for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right:
• recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of “normal” through the whole developmental process
• why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature—and how to steer them toward better choices
• managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography 
• why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents—and how to give it in ways they’ll accept
• how to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures—drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting 
• teaching consent and sensitivity in the #MeToo culture 
Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, a book that will help today’s parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they will become emotionally secure young men.
Praise for Decoding Boys
“Comforting . . . a common-sensical and gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials.”Kirkus Reviews
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    • Library Journal

      November 1, 2019

      Natterson (The Care and Keeping of You; Guy Stuff) believes that too often parents misread the very signals they need to acknowledge to raise physically and emotionally healthy boys, as the visible signs aren't as obvious as they are for girls. The pediatrician and mother of two boys explores the effects of changes in both testosterone and the human brain during the years of puberty, and addresses how to discuss both interior changes and external influences (pornography, body image, addiction, aggression) impacting the development of young men. She completes the book with a highly detailed section on how to navigate some of the more awkward but important conversations about issues such as acne, body odor, erections, and wet dreams. VERDICT An essential and approachable resource for parents of preteen and teenage boys.

      Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Kirkus

      November 15, 2019
      A pediatrician leads readers down the fraught, confusing road of male puberty. Pediatrician Natterson (Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys, 2017, etc.) seeks to "light a conversational route through puberty and adolescence while acknowledging that everyone travels a slightly different road." Puberty, specifically, is the path to sexual maturity and reproductive ability, but it draws in its wake plenty of challenges and (mostly) minor crises. Natterson's tone is comforting as she seeks to clue readers in, in terms of perspective and advice, on the physiological and emotional changes afoot. Central to the process of physical maturation and the making of men is the hormone testosterone, especially its role in the shutting down of communication by boys during puberty. This is critical, writes the author, because keeping open lines of communication is the single most elemental requirement for negotiating puberty. Somehow, find a way to communicate: "the silence can be deafening, not to mention dangerous." It can be dangerous because puberty is full of land mines, and adolescent boys can simultaneously look smart and grown-up but still make numerous poor decisions. This has to do with brain maturation and hormones, both of which Natterson discusses in enough detail for readers to get a handle on the basic biology involved. Readers will learn about pertinent elements of the limbic system and the role of the prefrontal cortex without having to earn a degree in physiology. Sex plays a starring role, of course, and the author examines consent, pornography, and the many positive and negative avenues through which boys learn the "facts." Natterson also addresses violent video games and guns, since puberty is a time of heightened emotions and aggression, as well as acne, body odor, unwanted erections, body hair, mood and voice changes, and wet dreams. A common-sensical, gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials.

      COPYRIGHT(2019) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      November 15, 2019
      Puberty is a transformative time that can be tough on kids and their parents. Physical changes (erupting acne, patches of hair sprouting in new places), emotional changes (moodiness), and social shifts are unsettling, to say the least. And while many books on the subject of girls and puberty are available, very few have addressed boys. Natterson, a pediatrician, parent, and best-selling child-care author, provides a helpful guide for the care and handling of adolescent boys. Instructive chapters, including "The Biology of Boy Puberty?Everything Gets Bigger," "The Talk," and "Understanding Testosterone," effectively combine an understanding of pertinent male physiology with sound advice on good parenting. Natterson discusses the physical metamorphosis of boys, beginning around ages nine or 10 and including larger body parts, increased body odor, and erections. She also informatively discusses the teen brain, aggression, and sex ed. Her primary recommendation for raising a healthy, safe, and happy son is dialogue. "Talk is healthy," Natterson writes as she encourages parents to be readily available and supportive listeners. Honest and loving conversations are the key to navigating adolescence.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)

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