12 Things I Learned From Talking to Internet Strangers
December 13, 2021
“Hate is not the only type of seed. A question can be a seed, too,” writes Marron in this enlightening debut based on his popular podcast of the same name. When, in 2016, he was inspired to create a podcast based on hate messages he’d received from strangers on Facebook in response to videos he was creating for a progressive digital news network, Marron discovered his “detractors” weren’t as one-dimensional as he’d thought. With the presidential primaries underway and social media acting as the “new public square” for the culture war, he’d become accustomed to being attacked online. But, as he recalls, when he began interviewing his antagonists, things shifted: “By seeing those I disagreed with as my ‘opponents,’ I was... pushing them away from the very topics I wanted to discuss with them.” He learned that Josh, a high schooler who harassed him online, had been bullied in school; another interview with a man who had a history of homophobia became an opportunity to discuss the nuances of sexuality. With compassion, Marron reveals how these discussions led to surprising moments of empathy, and sometimes even reconciliation between both sides. But he’s also careful to clarify that while “it is brave to have difficult conversations... it’s brave to... know your limits.” In a time rife with divisiveness, this opens up an intriguing dialogue about finding ways to connect.
February 1, 2022
A podcaster reveals behind-the-scenes details of his work and what he has learned from interacting with his guests. After producing dozens of snarky videos for Seriously.TV, a digital TV network, and creating the web series Sitting in Bathrooms With Trans People, first-time author Marron began to receive numerous hateful comments, "all written by other internet strangers who seem to hate me." He saved them, and by 2017, he was ready to take the next step. He reached out to 20 people who had sent him digital hate mail--weeding out those who seemed overtly dangerous or unhinged--and asked if they would consider engaging in a dialogue on a podcast. Eleven of them agreed, forming the foundation for the titular podcast, which would go on to include episodes in which Marron connected other people who violently disagreed with each other. The book introduces some fascinating characters and smoothly details the author's learning curve. We follow Marron as he taps into his "more earnest, sincere self," learns how to encourage conversation rather than debate, and recovers from missteps along the way. The text is structured into chapters reflecting the lessons that he learned and that he hopes to communicate to readers, including "Empathy Is Not Endorsement," "Conversation Is a Dance," and "Debate Is a Sport." Marron persuasively argues that the internet is a major source of polarization and that talking personally, and listening fully--without trying to score points or to convince someone to change their mind--goes a long way toward breaking down barriers. While the narrative runs out of steam as it progresses, especially in a section about Marron's difficulty in achieving the 80,000 words he promised his publisher, his enthusiasm for forging temporary relationships with the most unlikely of strangers is palpable. The book will delight his fans and draw new listeners to the podcast. A likable if not groundbreaking reminder of the joys of a good chat.
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